Even though this post isn’t about homeschooling, I feel it is a topic that needs to be addressed. Santa has become a hot-button topic among many Christians in the last couple of decades, particularly in homeschool circles. I see many posts about “why we don’t do Santa,” yet I have never seen any about the opposite viewpoint. Therefore, I decided to share what my husband and I have prayerfully decided about Santa. If you have already put your stake in the ground against Santa, this post isn’t for you. This post is for young parents who are unsure or for parents who have been made to feel guilty for doing Santa. For those two groups, I hope this sets you free! Because, in the end, Santa isn’t that big of a deal. I know what it’s like, however, to feel intense pressure as a Christian about Santa! When our oldest, Luke, was a baby, my husband and I had to decide what we were going to do about the fat guy in the red suit. We both had fond memories of Santa growing up, and I wanted Luke to have those as well. I also didn’t see what the big deal was. My husband, however, wasn’t so sure. His biggest thing was: isn’t it lying? There was also the argument we had heard from other Christians: You tell your kids to believe in Jesus and Santa, but then they find out Santa isn’t real. Won’t they also wonder if Jesus is real? I honestly thought the second thing - believing in Jesus - was ridiculous. Finding out that Santa wasn’t real was disappointing, sure, but it didn’t rock my entire belief system. My husband wasn’t raised a Christian, so it didn’t impact him much either. Still, the arguments seemed frighteningly convincing. I was in a quandary over it until I read a column written by Dr. Henry Cloud in a Christian parenting magazine. The first thing he said was that parents make a much bigger deal about Santa than it actually is. Santa is not a heaven or hell issue, nor is it really that important in the grand scheme of things. “Huh,” I thought to myself, “he has a good point.” He said that children stop believing in Santa much earlier than parents imagine: six or seven years old! He said that it really has more to do with childhood fantasy and imagination than it does with faith, belief, or philosophy. Children believe in Santa the same way they believe in Mickey Mouse at Disney World. “Real” to them is cut and dried . Mickey Mouse is real? Well of course he is! I met him at Disney World, didn’t I? I see him right there on the TV screen. “Real” has to do with the physical, tangible world to a child that young. A friend of mine experienced this first hand when her daughter Sadie was about four years old. She had, like many parents, decided that telling Sadie to believe in Santa might harm her ability to believe in Jesus. So, one day, when Sadie started talking about Santa, my friend firmly explained to her that he wasn’t real. Sadie’s little brow furrowed in confusion. “What do you mean he isn’t real? Mommy, we saw him at Walmart!” Your 1-6 year old is going to believe in a lot of pretend things. She’s going to believe that she could turn into a kitten if she just walks around on all fours long enough while meowing. She’s going to believe in Captain America, Pinkalicious, Tinkerbell, and a score of other imaginary things. Then one day, her mind will mature, and she’ll be able to understand the difference between a made up story and real life. It isn’t harmful either for her to pretend. It’s actually an important part of her development. I knew Dr. Cloud was right about this because I had studied it myself in college as an education major. It lined right up with what I knew of childhood development. But what about the lying part? Dr. Cloud said, again, that parents blow this way out of proportion. He used this example: (I’m paraphrasing because I lost this column a long time ago - it was in print of all things!) “Say that I’m working in my office, and my grandson comes running in dressed up in his favorite Spiderman suit. He pretends to shoot webs all over the office, then shouts, ‘Grandpa! Watch out! Doc Ock is gonna get ya! I’ll save you!’ Would I be lying to my grandson if I play along? Of course not! Should I worry that he actually believes these things are real? No! I understand he is engaging in imaginative play like any normal, healthy child.” I’m telling you, this set me free! I realized how absolutely right Dr. Cloud was. After all, when our kids play pretend we don’t stop what we’re doing, sit them down and have a serious conversation like this: “Honey, I need to tell you the truth. Batman isn’t real. He doesn’t run around saving people. He’s made up. We don’t want to think Batman saves people because the only one who saves people is Jesus.” I mean, to most of us, that conversation sounds completely ridiculous. Yet, how many parents do that over Santa? Dr. Cloud said the only time children grow up with resentment over Santa is when they discover that their parents lied to them when they specifically asked if Santa was real. Or, their parents went to elaborate lengths to trick them into believing, OR they attached Santa too much to behavior. Because of the logical, balanced explanation in this article (which my husband also read), we decided that Santa wasn’t a big deal. However, we also committed to two things: #1 We would never lie. If our kids asked , we would tell the truth. #2 We would not emphasize the “naughty or nice” part of Santa. We don’t warn our kids to “be good or Santa won’t come,” and we don’t do Elf on the Shelf because it also has the whole “he sees you when you’re sleeping” thing that is honestly kind of creepy. (Although, that second part is our personal preference. I know some people who only do the fun part of Elf on the Shelf without the "he's watching you" part.) It’s interesting, however, that even when we’ve told our kids the truth, they continue to “believe” in Santa. Maybe it’s because we always say it this way: “No, Santa isn’t a real person. He’s just something fun to make believe. Like Narnia, Black Panther, and Queen Elsa.” Because our children continue to have fun with other imaginary things that they know logically aren't real, they are able to do the same with Santa. I truly think if you frame Santa as merely fun make believe, your kids will be just fine. It’s the whole point anyway, isn’t it? Childhood imagination and fun. That’s all Santa really is.
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AuthorHi, I'm Melanie! I'm a homeschooling mom of three kids ages 13, 11, and 9. I have a BS in English Secondary Education from Asbury University plus 30 hours of gifted certification course work. I've taught in just about every situation you can imagine. Public school, private, homeschool hybrid, and private tutoring. The most important thing I've learned? One on one, individualized instruction can't be beat. Archives
July 2022
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